Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize