Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize