dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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