remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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