Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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