Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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