what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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