The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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