that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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