Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize