I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
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you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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