I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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