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Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
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