Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah

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(650): Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah http://tfl.nu/pdwe

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(251): View more from Alabama

About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way

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(251): About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way http://tfl.nu/3xnz

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(805): View more from California

We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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(805): We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened. http://tfl.nu/qapw

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(626): View more from California

he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

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(626): he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that?? http://tfl.nu/9sps

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you

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(717): well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours (484): andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you http://tfl.nu/ooyd

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(719): View more from Colorado

You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.

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(719): You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job. http://tfl.nu/yqtc

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(650): View more from California

guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?

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(650): guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina? http://tfl.nu/cd8y

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.

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(902): In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment. http://tfl.nu/d367

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.

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(814): I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos. http://tfl.nu/dk8h

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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(609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf

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(301): View more from Maryland

Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.

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(301): Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging. http://tfl.nu/m3cv

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.

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(780): I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets. http://tfl.nu/hrg7

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.

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(603): I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused. http://tfl.nu/l3qm

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(954): View more from Florida

I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?

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(954): I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested? http://tfl.nu/lmn2

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(647): View more from Ontario

btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.

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(647): btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns. http://tfl.nu/3mk5

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