Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
no you cant smoke seaweed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize