at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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