I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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