I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize