K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize