just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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