I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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