Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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