Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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