My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize