spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize