yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize