Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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