after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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