I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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