I want to make a zoo with you.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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