i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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