I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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