Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize