i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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