Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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