If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think I sprained my soul last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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