TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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