Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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