it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize