Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
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No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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