Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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