I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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