Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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