and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize