one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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