woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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