Already got asked if we're dating
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize