dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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