we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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