I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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