We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize